They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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