I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
