i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
