we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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