I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
