piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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