I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
