so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
