forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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