She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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