I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We need to get me chipped asap
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
