ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
