i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
