guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
