tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
