I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
