just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
