I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
