She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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