oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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