i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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