she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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