Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
