I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
