? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
