imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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