I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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