I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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