This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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