: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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