Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
