Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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