My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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