I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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