i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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