cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
