it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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