he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
