then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
