yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
NoShamevember. You game?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
