Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
