ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just want nice things and good sex
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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