and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
