those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
