She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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