She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
