thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
