I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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