omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
