U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
did i just pee glitter
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
